He Lied and then Tried to Hide the Truth

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Visitor's Question:
In April of this year I found a cell phone number of a woman who works with my live-in boyfriend of 9 years. When I confronted him about her he said she was just a friend. I told him that I don't mind him having female friends and he could talk to her as much as he wants at work or if he happened to see her in the streets but I didn't like the idea of him calling her especially when I am not around.

He told me then that he wouldn't call her anymore but he recently got a cell phone and he did not know that every number he calls would show up on his bill. He just got his first bill December 26 and whose number do I see on it hers. He called her right after I had left for work one morning. I am furious because he lied to me about not calling her anymore and he tried to hide it by making the call on his cell thinking I would never find out.

I don't trust him and think everything he says is a lie. I don't know what to do. I am so miserable. Am I wrong for not wanting my boyfriend to call another woman? I don't trust that men and women can only be friends. I think it always leads to something else.





Our Suggestion:
Men and women can MOST definitely be friends - if you are going to try to prevent your guy from talking to every single woman, then this isn't going to last long. Surely you are not so insecure about your relationship that you think merely talking to another woman will be enough to send him running away from you?

I have a ton of advice on the site about dealing with jealousy.

That all being said, a partner should NEVER lie to the partner and try to sneak and hide things. The fact that he's doing that makes it pretty clear that he does not consider her just a friend.

So there are two things here. One, he should be able to have female friends! Two, he shouldn't be lying to you about what he is doing - if you can't trust him about a phone call, how can you trust him about anything more serious?

--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com



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