He Wants Sex on Demand

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Do you have some advice for this person?

Visitor's Question:
I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years, I have a problem with him thinking that just because he does things for me that I should "have sex" with him whenever he wants, but I have a 4 yr old son, full time job, and a house to take care of, I am tired most of the time to the point I don't want to do anything none the less that.

He gets mad at me when I won't and I don't see that as being a loving boyfriend if he gets made cuz he doesn't get it when he wants, I'm debating breaking up with him cuz I feel like I am just a convenience to him.

Any ideas or help would be greatly appreciated. I feel like if I break it off because of that then I am being petty. I get put down for being weird or not right for not wanting sex all the time like he does and I don't think that is fair at all.

Our Suggestion:
Wow, was this guy born in the 1200s or something? You're not his prostitute, you're his girlfriend. Sex is not his Inalienable Right. Sex is a fun activity that two consenting adults agree to do together because both of them like it, when both are in the mood. Every single relationship ends up having some sexual issues. Sometimes the woman wants more. Sometimes the man wants more. It changes from year to year, as people get stressed and unstressed, as they go on medication, as they get older.

You are completely right that the way he is treating you is wrong. It really isn't about sex. It's about him feeling that you are his servant to service him however he chooses, whenever he chooses. That is not your duty. It is HIS duty to romance you and get you in the mood, if you're going to look at it like that. And if your needs don't happen to line up, well then he has to learn to live with it. Life is all about compromise in EVERY situation including sex.

If he really can't learn to deal with this and tries to pressure you into it despite you telling him to lay off, then it is time to take a break. He is acting like a selfish 8 year old and unless he grows up a bit, he doesn't sound like a good person to be around you OR your poor kid.

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