I Betrayed Her - She Still Loves Me

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Visitor's Question:
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. For the first year and a half, it was a long-distance relationship and we only saw each other a few days a month. Lots of booze and single friends led me to cheat on her quite frequently with many different girls. I lied about it forever until just last week during an argument, I came clean.

Of course, she was shattered, but wants me in her life and wants to forgive me. I am so sorry for the things I did to her and will never ever cheat again. I feel horrible and to make things worse, now I have trouble trusting her. It seems too good to be true that she loves me enough to let me get away scot free. I'm afraid that she will cheat in retaliation. I'm also afraid that she will never be able to really trust me again.

I don't know how to help her get over this and how to squelch my fears of her getting even. Please help!!

Our Suggestion:
As much as she says she will still love you, something like this is definitely that is going to need a lot of time to heal. Not only did you just betray her trust, which is the FOUNDATION of every relationship, but you also put her health into serious danger! What if you had caught a sexual disease from one of these other girls and your girlfriend - who you are supposed to be treasuring over all else - caught a serious disesase and was injured or died? You put your own pleasure above the life of someone you loved? How can she then trust you with her own life going forward, or that of any potential children?

I would seriously recommend finding a therapist to talk with together. She is going to need a lot of help in getting through this, and you will need help in truly regaining her trust.

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