She Got Upset - I Want her Back

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Visitor's Question:
I went out with this freshman last year when I was a senior in high school. We both started off by just being friends and she had a boyfriend at the time. When she broke up with him however she needed a shoulder and I was there. We started dating and it got really intense. We did everything together. Somewhere down the line, after X-mas break, something happened and she started getting really upset at me really quickly. Then she all together stopped trying to be around me. I gave her some time by herself because that's what I figured she needed.(I know sometimes I need a couple days or more by myself.)

By this time we weren't talking and I only knew what was going on in her life because of her sister who I was also pretty close to. I really loved her and she told me she loved me. Now I go back to help out with my high school drumline which she is a part of. When we broke up I was heartbroken and I still love but not to the extent that I did before. However I feel like I can't talk to her because if she thinks I'm trying to get back with her she will just get upset and stay away from me as much as possible.

I have just been staying away from her and her sister and every now and then they will pass me and say something to me, which is better than it had been. Now I want to say something to her but I don't know what. I really just want to be friends because it's killing me not to have her in my life. She has a boyfriend now again and they have been going out for a while now. I love her like she is my sister, but she seems to hate me. After we broke up and I tried to be friends with her she wouldn't let me and when I asked why she told me that I hurt her feelings. I can't ask her why now because I know she doesn't want to get into anything serious with me, which is fine. But how do I get to be friends with her again? I only have a couple more days before winter drumline is over and then I won't get to see her for about a year until next year's drumline starts. Please help because I'm lost.

Our Suggestion:
I think it's completely reasonable for you to want to know why you broke up!! If she refuses to talk to you about it, she's being very immature. I would tell her that you want to talk with her for 10 minutes just to have some closure. Surely she can't refuse you that. Then explain that you respect her as a friend and you simply want to know what caused her to lose that friendship feeling.

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