She Cheated and Lied

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Visitor's Question:
hi there,my girlfriend and i have been going out for five years now and we also have a son and i thought that we had a strong and secure relationship. sometime last year i went to europe for some time.

while i was over there i sensed that there was something wrong with us. for one she never wrote to me and when i called she always seemed upset. i spent just over five months there and in that time a lot has happened to us. she has so many hurtful words to me - she even said that i am not worth her time. i am now back in my home town and things are very bad between us.

whilst i was in europe i asked her if there was someone else see said that she had gotten close to someone but it was nothing that i should worry about because she would not throw what we have down the drain. i believed her when she said that to me. only to find out that she had been lying all the time. she recently confessed that she had been seeing him and is now caught between the two of us. i don't what to don't feel that i should fight for her because i didn't give her anyreason to look for someone else. what should i do. i still love her but don't think the she does love me.

Our Suggestion:
OK, she cheated and then she lied. She could choose to be with you now, but she isn't doing that. She's keeping you around as a safety net.

I really think you should take a break here. You need some time on your own to sort out how you feel. You can't force her to be with you - and so far she's proven that she's willing to run off and then lie about it. If I were you I would need a serious show of effort on her part before I considered taking her back.

--Your Friendly Advisors at

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