Does He Love Me?

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Visitor's Question:
I think my husband lied to me when he told me he love me. first of all he lost his wife to death in 99 he get a pic of her and has it in larged then places it the living room on the shelves.

then he called his ex girlfriend up and he acted like he was jelious of her husband like he told her i knew id better call u now since he isnt home, she calls me up and tells me to tell my husband not to call her anymore and when i tell him he acts like he is really upset.

im at my wits in i dont know what to do, he says he loves me but we dont spend time together we have no romantic relationship at all and the sad thing is we have only been married 18 mos can u give me any advice on what should i do
. Thank you very much Reader

Our Suggestion:
Well first, of course your husband loved his ex wife. That's why people marry, because they are in love. Just about anyone you date will have loved at least one person in the past. Many people break up with exs and still love them. That doesn't mean they cannot love anybody else. Can a parent only love one of her children? Love isn't a limited commodity. Your husband loves his ex, who passed away. He can still love you, his current wife, strongly as well.

That being said, I don't know what's going on with the ex girlfriend. He shouldn't be calling and harassing her of course. I would really suggest you sit down with a minister or therapist or someone and ask him what is going on here. It's his responsibility to be paying attention to you, not off calling and harassing other women. Yes he can have female FRIENDS just as you have male friends. But it sounds like this ex girlfriend of his wasn't being thought of as a friend, considering her reaction.

If you guys married, there was a connection there between you. If it faded along the way, it's time to work actively on rekindling it. You need to figure out what the problem has become, and then start taking steps to fix it. But the first step is to have him admit there IS a problem instead of spending his time calling other women and ignoring you.

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