My Boyfriend is Going Out All the Time

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Do you have some advice for this person?

Visitor's Question:
me and my boyfriend have been going steady for around 14 months now. I thought everything was peachy-keen until about a month ago, he started going over to his step-mothers to help out with some housework, I got mad about it because she was so mean to him when he lived here, why would he want to help? He got mad at me and we just dismissed it.

Then, he started going out of town every night to see his brother and stuff and that was about the same time he started drinking. And now, he's going over there every night to "fix his computer."

I dont know if it just my jealous side taking over because I used to get to see him everyday, or its something else? Was your perspective?

Our Suggestion:
It definitely sounds like he is developing a serious life away from you. While it's always good for people in relationships to have outside interests, I really find it hard to believe that he is "fixing computers" all the time and not drinking and such. So if he's now lying and deceiving you, how can you really trust him when he's off away from you?

Now to be honest, you started it by harassing him for spending more time with his family. People often want to rebuild family relationships. Instead of being upset with him, it would have worked better if you went along with him, so you could be spending time with him and supporting him.

So now what do you do. Well, sending him out the door daily for him to grow further away from you is a bad idea. But forcing him to stay home won't work either. I suggest you go along with him. If he's working on his computer, he shouldn't mind. If he doesn't want you around, it's time to ask why.

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