IT'S LIKE HE TOOK SOMETHING FROM ME AND I WANT IT BACK.

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Visitor's Question:
4 YEARS AGO I DATED A GUY WHO BROKE UP WITH ME ABOUT A MONTH LATER. HE WAS 18 AND I WAS 16. I MOVED TO ANOTHER STATE SHORTLY AFTER, BUT NOT BECAUSE OF THAT REASON. SINCE THEN WE HAVE TALKED ON THE PHONE ATLEAST ONCE EVERY TWO MONTHS AND HAVE GROWN TO KNOW EACH OTHER A LOT BETTER THAN WHEN I WAS 16 AND HE WAS 18. WE BOTH HAVE RELATIONSHIPS NOW WHICH HAVE BEEN GOING ON FOR TWO YEARS. WE BOTH MOVED IN WITH THEM AROUND THE SAME TIME, BUT HE RECENTLY MOVED OUT OF HIS GIRLFRIENDS AND IS THINKING ABOUT QUITING HIS JOB BECAUSE HE WORKS WITH HER. I, ON THE OTHERHAND DON'T WORK WITH MY BOYFRIEND, BUT DO LIVE WITH HIM AND I CONSTANTLY WISH I COULD JUST LEAVE. YOU SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I WERE BEST FRIENDS TO BEGIN WITH FOR A YEAR AND ONE DAY HE DECIDED HE COULDN'T HANG OUT WITH MY ANY MORE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BE MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS. I COULDN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF NOT BEING WITH HIM ANYMORE SO I DECIDED WE SHOULD TRY TO BE TOGETHER. I JUST DON'T LOVE HIM HOW I WANT TO LOVE HIM. AND THE WHOLE TIME I HAVE BEEN WITH HIM I STILL THINK ABOUT THAT GUY IN THE OTHER STATE. I STILL TALK TO HIM AND THERE HAVE BEEN SUBTLE STATEMENTS HERE AND THERE ABOUT US THINKING ABOUT EACH OTHER AND HOW SOMETIMES HE WISHED HE HAD NEVER BROKEN UP WITH ME. WE'VE BECOME SO CLOSE SINCE THAT TIME WHEN I WAS 16 AND I JUST CANT GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD. SO, ASSUMING HE KNEW, AT LEAST IN THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, THAT I STILL CARED FOR HIM, I TOLD HIM I CAN'T STOP LIKING HIM. I CAN'T FORGET HIM AND I DON'T KNOW IF NOT TALKING TO HIM WILL TAKE CARE OF THAT. BUT I WANT TO BE PART OF HIS LIFE AND WHEN I GO BACK THERE I STILL WANT TO VISIT HIM SOMEDAY- IT JUST HURTS TOO MUCH. IS THIS LOVE? I'VE NEVER FELT THE WAY HE HAD MADE ME FEEL SINCE THEN. I KNOW IT WAS JUST A MONTH, AND I KNOW YOU GET THOSE JITTERS, BUT I HAVEN'T HAD THOSE PARTICULAR JITTERS SINCE. BEFORE MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND I HAD DATED A COUPLE OF GUYS AND YES I HAD JITTERS, BUT NOT THE SAME ONES. IN FOUR MONTHS MY BOYFRIEND AND I ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MOVING TO A NEW CITY TOGETHER FOR COLLEGE. ONCE I'M THERE I HAVE NO OTHER PLACE TO GO IF I WANT TO LEAVE. WHAT DO I DO? DO I STAY WITH MY BOYFRIEND WHO LOVES ME, OR DO I LEAVE HIM AND MOVE BACK TO MY HOME STATE AND WAIT FOR A CHANCE TO GET THAT GUY BACK? TO GET THAT FEELING BACK. IT'S LIKE HE TOOK SOMETHING FROM ME AND I WANT IT BACK. YOU WOULD THINK FOUR YEARS WOULD ERASE A FEELING I HAD WITH A GUY FOR ONLY A MONTH WHEN I WAS 16. YOU WOULD THINK THAT,SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY CAN'T I FORGET?


-CAT




Our Suggestion:
Those are all pretty big gamles. First off, you should make sure you can independently support yourself without the need for a boyfriend. If you can live on your own you can more freely make decisions. Until then, you are dependent on someone else. I would suggest you don't go anywhere until you can support yourself and you know this other guy wants you back. If not, all is lost.

--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com



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