She Wants to See Someone Else

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Do you have some advice for this person?

Visitor's Question:
My ex broke up with me because I wasn't paying her enough attension. I took her and some of her birds to her sister's house for the evening. Well, I spent much of the time minding the birds. I left her alone for about ten minutes. Some guy who she grew up with was sitting alone with her. I didn't think much of it. I took her home to her apartment. I spent the rest of the weekend with her. I found out later that he was picking-up on her.

For the next couple of weeks I could talk to her on the phone but not see her(she was evasive).

I get a phone call from her saying that she is seeing this guy and he is making her happy. I said to her we were through. She was real adament about saying she just wanted a time-out. I don't know what to do. We were going out for five years. I love her more than anything in the world and I want to marry her. She told me at Valentine's day that she was my girl. I don't know what to do. How can I get her back into my life? What can I say think or do to help her change her mind?

Our Suggestion:
It's one thing to break up with you. It's another thing to say to you "just hang out waiting for me for a little while. I want to date someone else. If I get bored with him, I want to be able to come back to you. If I don't get bored with him, I'll tell you when I'm ready to let you go as my security blanket."

That is really slimy and disrespectful for her to do to you. If she's going to date someone else, she should let YOU date someone else too. I know you love her, but she is being really nasty to you. She really isn't showing that she loves or respects you much in return. Love isn't always a two way street. It's hard to take it when you are in love but the person you love does not love you back.

I would cut ties with her and take some time on your own. You deserve someone far better, but it might be a little while before you are able to think about it without sadness. Give yourself that time.

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