I really love my boyfriend A LOT and sometimes I am afraid of losing him

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Visitor's Question:
I really love my boyfriend A LOT and sometimes I am afraid of losing him. We talk on the phone for hours, we both can’t get enough of each other but I hate the fact that he likes talking about sexual things. It’s uncomfortable talking about those kind of things to me. When I try to change the subject, he asks “if we don’t talk about this, then who will you talk about it with?” I don’t know what to do. He says we will always be together, but I don’t know if I should trust him, or give him my heart. When we are talking, he tells me how he would love to have sex, and that he’s still a virgin. But he knows too much about sexual things. He says he would only lose it with me. At times I feel like he’s just saying that so I could do it with him, and other times I believe him. Sometimes when we’re talking he says he can wait until we get married, (if we ever do!) and sometimes he says if we are both in the mood, it might just happen. I am so confused. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m afraid I might just let him and regret it later on. HELP!!



Our Suggestion:
If he continues when you're feeling uncomfortable, then he's not much of a boyfriend. He should be considerate of your feelings about it. His statement of "if we don't talk about, who will?" is silly. The answer is you just don't talk like that at all. You don't talk about a bomb in an airport, you don't talk about sex with someone who's not comfortable with it. Just common sense.

You're dating each other, you should be able to trust him. Feeling comfortable with someone is key for trusting them. From the sound of it, you are not ready to have sex yet. You know that it is something you should hold off on until the right situation and this just isn't there yet. You'll know it's the right time when you are no longer nervous about it and when the love is strong and when you are both committed fully to one another. Usually that's marriage, but most people aren't waiting that long. But that doesn't mean you have to go jump in bed with him. Take your time. You have all the hours in the world to wait for the right moment, rather than commit yourself in haste and then regret it for the rest of your life.

If he cares about you, he will wait. If he complains and pushes you on it, then he does not love you enough to make love to. You would just be having sex, not sharing love together. You don't want that.

I wish you the best!

--Jenn



--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com



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