i want to have sex with him in all because i am in love with him

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Visitor's Question:
Ok i am 13 and my boy friend is 14 1/2. Me and him have been goin out for about 6months and i am in love with him not that kind of love were im goin to drop all of my friends so that he is the only person in my life. But that kind of love were if the littlist thing wrong happens i want to cry and kiss him and say im sorry. i mean the longest time we have been in a fight is for 1 day! But anyways we have been talking about having sex for awhile now and i think it is actualy goin to happen what do i do? i want ot have sex with him in all because i am in love with him and i know it! But im scared and dont know what to do! i mean do i bring the protection or does he or do we both what do i do! Please help me i want to have sex but i wnat to be safe about it i dont want to end up as a mom when i am just 14. So please tell me if i should and how to be safe about it and what do i do if i say no and he doesnt stop?!? PLEASE HELP ME





Our Suggestion:
13 is a very young age to be thinking about sex. It's so much more than the physical, it's also very spiritual and emotional. You have to be very mature to handle it properly. I counsel people who are 16 to hold off from having sex, so 13 seems to be very young to enter into a physical relationship of this sort. You have to be prepared for the possibility of pregnancy even if you are super careful about protection. Are you, at 13, capable of raising a child? If not, then no you shouldn't be having sex.

A question: if you're afraid that if you say 'no' that he'll continue anyway, don't you think there's a problem? He should stop instantly if you say no. That's the mature thing to do. If you have doubts about that, then you shouldn't be doing this with him.

Still, there are plenty of things you can do that do not include intercourse. You can still please each other. What will that extra act give to you that you can't get already?

If you have your mind set on having sex with him, then yes you should bring condoms and spermacidal foam. And make sure the condom is on from when he gets erect until afterward. You don't want to risk any of the pre-juice (which contains semen) getting inside you.

This site has a lot of good advice on having sex for the first time:
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2308.html

Good luck!





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