He's made life actually worth living for. But theres this other guy
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Do you have some advice for this person?
Visitor's Question: Look to be honest I don't really know how these things work. But i have this problem and i really need some advice. Please don't ignore this I beg of u. Here's the problem. Im dating this guy right, he's great, he's sweet, he adores me, he has flaws but thats life. Basically he's the best thing thats ever come into my life. He's made life actually worth living for. But theres this other guy (lets call him Bob) . Not just any other guy, see ive known this guy for i think 7 years now. I had the biggest crush on him when we were younger the thing is i never quiet gave the crush up nor did he. Basically we both had a thing for each other for the past 6 years. Well see i was able to push Bob to the back of my mind alot, like when id date other guys or when he went to a different high school for our first year. But then my sophomor year he came back and it was like this rush of emotions that came back as well. But i pushed it aside because like before he did nothing about it, i'd try to get him to make a move but he never would and i was to nervous so we never went anywhere. But now we talk alot, and well things have gotten strong again. But I don't want to give up the guy im seeing now, I care so much about him. But to be thinking about Bob constantly is wrong to my guy. I want to give Bob up, but a part of me refuses, i mean ive had the crush for 6 years and ill always wonder "what if" if i let bob go. So now im stuck in a horrible predicament. What do i do? I dunno what else to do? I want them both but thats wrong. I grew up with Bob i really don't want to let him go. So what do i do?
Our Suggestion: You will always have feelings for 'Bob' even if you date him and have a horrible breakup. That's just how crushes work. And no, you're not horrible for thinking of Bob while you're dating your current guy. That's life, it's normal.
You need to recognize that this crush with Bob has built up an expectation that he and you simply can't meet. Life will never be as wonderful as the fantasies are, so let them remain fantasies. Don't give up the bird in hand for the one in the bush.
You'll always curse yourself if you give up your good relationship to go for a fling with Bob. It's better to spend your life with "what if..." instead of "if I'd only stayed..."
