I think I'm obsessed with an old ex

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Visitor's Question:
Can u please help me. I think I'm obsessed with an old ex. He was my childhood sweetheart for around 2-3 years. We were 'seeing eachother' on and off but as I was so crazy about this guy I never mangaged to create something serious with him because I was always so nervous around him. I know it sounds silly. We would only ever kiss and fool around after a night out down the local pub but whenever I seen him during the day I would become shy and nervous so nothing ever came of our 'relationship'. Another problem was that he was in love with another girl at the time, who wasn't interested in him at all. Anyway, one night at a party he asked me to be his 'official' girlfriend but I wasn't sure it was what he really wanted (because of this other girl) so told him I'd think about it. The next night I seen him kissing another girl and was devastated I hadn't said yes the night before. I didn't see him then for a few months until his 18th birthday when a friend of his set him up with this girl. I was really upset to see him dancing with her etc. Then 2 months later I found out she was pregnant with his child. This was like the end of the world for me. I was so upset and depressed to see them together with their baby that I even had to move away from my small town. Now they're married and have 2 kids. I just can't accept it. I regret so much not making an effort all those years ago because I really loved him and still do. I was so stupid.. I still think about him all the time and wonder if I could ever get him back ?

Our Suggestion:
No, you can't ever get him back. He's married, he has kids, he has a full life with another woman. You won't be able to break through that to get him to be yours. Just sometimes you have to let the love of your life go and instead focus on people who are right in front of you, available, and a much better match for you than that guy ever could have been.

If he loved you so much and wanted you to be his official girlfriend, all those years ago, then he would have waited 24 hours for your response. That he hooked up with someone new in that short of a time means he was shallow and not all that interested in the first place. If you had gone out with him, I would bet dollars to donuts that it would not have lasted long. He doesn't seem the sort who wanted a longterm deep relationship at that point. He was a player, and would not have been right for you. But instead, you didn't date him and you're writing in how you still love him, instead of writing in to say how much he broke your heart.

Enjoy that in-love feeling you had for him and remember him fondly, but put him in a box under your bed and forget about any kind of relationship with him. That's all done and in the past. You have to move on and look for someone new that will bring happiness and joy into your life.

Good luck!
Jenn

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