My mom's an alcoholic and slept with the neighbor while drunk.

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Visitor's Question:
Hi, im 13 years old. I live at home with my father and my alchoholic mother. My mom drinks at least a 24 pack of beer a day. She's drunk all the time. I would like to tell a story about one day that really bothers me and i dont know what to do about it. It may sound unrealistic but it is true. One day my mom was going over to my neighbor's house so i went with her. My mom and my neighbor started drinking and they got really drunk. So I went home for like almost an hour. Then i went back to my neighbors house. i went up to the door and the curtains on the door were closed and the door was locked. so i knocked a few times. After a couple minutes he answered the door. He acted kind of wierd. he said i've been just sitting here drinking beer and listening to the radio. My mom wasnt at the table like she was when i left. so i asked him where she was. He said she was tired so she went to bed. he asked do you want me to go get her. i said yes. so i followed him to the bedroom. he was talking to my mom but he was blocking the doorway. so i looked between his legs and i saw my mom sitting on the bed pants and underwear down trying to pull them up. i hurried back to the table before he realized what i had seen. a couple of seconds later i went back to the room and both of them were sitting on the bed talking. he said was it good. she said yes. then they started kissing. i couldn't take it any more. i ran out of the house and back to home. when my father came home it got worse but i will leave it at that. Drinking and craziness have gotten out of control and i fear that the drinking is going to take my mother's life.



Our Suggestion:
I feel for you. I grew up in a household with an alcoholic mother and step-father. I didn't know that this was wrong, I only knew that every night they would come home, drink, and fight. And this went on for years while my sister and I would just hide in our rooms hoping for it to stop, and then pretending to the world that our homelife was peaceful and quiet.

I'm glad you know this is not normal. I hope you realize that none of this is your fault and none of this is anything that you can fix in any way. This is an adult issue that they have to solve, you just have to ride through the rough waves until you're out of the house. Which is very unfortunate but life's not always fair.

There are groups that can help you through this tough time. Read through these sites for some help.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/alateen.html
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/pdf/alateentalk.pdf

You can find meetings here:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

I hope that your dad sees that there's a problem and is willing to bring you to meetings. If not, then hopefully the sites have enough information that can help you, and you can find online meetings or chat rooms or whatever for you to get support and comfort from. You are not alone.

Feel free to write back any time. I'm here for you, I know what it's like since I lived through it too.

Good luck.
Jenn



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