Well, one night we went farther then we have ever gone

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Visitor's Question:
Hi i'm a 16 y.o. female. I recently got involved with a guy I met at my church. He is 21. We liked it each other and he started to come over and help my family with work. Well, during that time we got physically and emotionally close. He had never ever been with a girl physically at all, so I was the farest he's ever gone with a girl. He said the only reason he got involved physically with me was because he loved me and one day he was gonna marry me. Well, one night we went farther then we have ever gone and the next day he apologized and said he just wanted to be friends.Now we don't even talk, unless I go up to him and then he acts normal even happy to see me. I know he likes other girls, but did he ever love me?? What did we have?? I loved him so much and i'm in so much pain



Our Suggestion:
I think that he got scared off by how far you two went. It sounds like he wasn't ready for it and freaked. This doesn't change how he felt about you, he obviously cared deeply for you. He just was uncomfortable with what was going on and didn't handle it properly. Since he seems normal when you do talk, see if you can get him in a conversation where you say that you really miss what the two of you had, and that you think that the two of you went too far and you want to see if you can start dating again and have set limits that you won't go past. This might reassure him enough that he could date you again without worrying about where things will go.

I wish you the best!
Jenn



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