A Year and a Half - Then He Left

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Visitor's Question:
My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me b/c he said he didn't want a girlfriend right now and I miss him very much. I love him very much but he told me he didn't love me anymore. I had also recently said "unfortunatly" to the question are you two still going out. I was just joking but he didn't take it as a joke and that's when he dumped me. HE also said I didn't understand him but he never talks about things that bother him or his feelings.

Am I wasting my time by wanting to get back together with him or is there still a chance? What should I do for the best chance of getting back together with him?



Our Suggestion:
A guy who dumps you after a single joke was thinking about the breakup for a long time and just used it as an excuse. No guy who is happy and content in a relationship would run away just because of a silly joke like that! So don't think about the joke - think about your relationship in general with him.

It's very common for guys not to talk about their feelings. They're brought up to hide emotions and to "act like a man". It's their entire training. It is the important role of a girlfriend to retrain the guy to talk to HER. It's not an easy thing - but it's a necessary thing. He sounds like he *wanted* to be understood and wanted you to do that talking with him. You can't wait around for a guy to volunteer emotional information :) You have to deliberately make the quiet time and talk to him about it.

I have an entire set of tips dedicated to getting an ex back -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/9

as well as an ebook specifically walking through how to do it -

http://www.romanceclass.com/ebooks/back_f.asp

It's always possible. The question is if you really want to put in the time and energy to get this guy back, when the relationship could in essence be just as flawed as before, unless the real issues are fixed.

-- Lisa

--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com



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