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Visitor's Question:
Hi, my girlfriend of a year and a half recently broke up with me for a few reasons. I suppose I'll start from the beginning...Our relationship had been on the rocks for some time and I wasn't really doing anything about it because part of me wanted to break up with her. Well, when I took a semester off to intern away from school, I thought it would be best for us to break up. That didn't last more than a couple of weeks, because once we saw each other again, we just got back together. Well, near the beginning of August, she decided that it would be a good idea to at least take a break from each other. I was at the stage where I didn't want to do this, I tried to tell her that we could work it out, but she had pretty much made up her mind about it. She then told me that she had met a new guy and they had gone on a couple of dates. I told her to be careful, that she's very vulnerable and should hold off on dating for a while. Well, she came back and said that this guy had just broken up with his girlfriend of 2 1/2 years, so he "must be a good guy". I tried to tell her she's making a bad decision, but finally I said to myself that I need to just let it go. I didn't realize what I had with her until I lost it all.

Just recently, I found out from one of her sorority sisters that this new guy my ex is dating is just a player looking to get some. The sorority sister told me that one of her other friends got with this guy last year, and he ended up breaking her heart. AND she said that if this guy in fact HAD broken up with a long-time girlfriend, then he had cheated on her multiple times. What I think is going on is that this guy is just trying to get with my ex, my ex is being swooned by him, and she's going to end up getting hurt very badly.

I still really care about her and I know she still really cares about me, but we are sort of far apart for the time being and getting back together would be difficult until I get back to school in a couple of months. I care about her well-being just knowing all this information, but I don't want to interfere with her life right now. I told that same sorority sister that if she is a good enough sister to my ex, then she will tell her all about this player. What, if anything should I do? Should I show her how much I still love and care for her, or should I just sit back and let this new guy break her heart? If I tell her the stuff I heard, do you think she'll believe me? Or do you think she needs to hear it from one of her close girl friends?

Our Suggestion:
She will believe it better if she hears it from a close girl friend. And you have asked the girlfriend to tell her so that might help things along. Give it a few weeks and see if she is still going with this new guy. If she is, you should let her know that you still love her and hope to get back together when you return. Then ask her to talk to the sorority sister to find out more information on the new boyfriend. Hopefully this will help.

Best wishes,
George

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