Guy breaks up to give girlfriend time alone

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Visitor's Question:
My boyfreind of four years just broke up with me last week. We always had such a great relationship and planned on getting married after we both graduate college. However, recently i have been having a very hard time with things and found out that i am depressed. He left me because he said that i needed to focus on myself for a while and get my feet back on the ground. I asked if the situation was permanent and he said he didn't know, that he just didn't want to put a time limit on it. He told me that he loves me and that he wants me to work on me for a while. I have really gotten my act together, I see a therapist now, and my parents are helping me sort out my problems. For the first time, in a while, i can honestly say that I am happy with myself. I know in my heart that we are meant to be together and I really love him. I saw him yesterday and he was so nice to me and we acted like nothing was different, just no kiss goodbye when i left. It was obvious by things he said that he loves me and cares for me so much. My question is, is this just a break, or do you think I should just get over him and move on.

Our Suggestion:
No, I don't think you should get over him and move on. He seems to really care for you and you care for him. Keep in touch with him as much as is reasonable, and stay good friends. My guess is that once he sees that you are coping with your depression he will be eager to start up your romance again. Maybe he blames himself for your depression. Make sure he understands that he is not the cause of it. Or, maybe he wants to avoid you because you are taking treatment for depression. If so, that is very unfortunate because almost everyone goes through depressions from time to time. The smart ones seek out help and that often includes counselors if they can afford it.

So stick with your therapy, get better, and get back with him.

Best of luck,
George

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