He's Not Romantic at All

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Visitor's Question:
My boyfriend and I have been goin out for 6 months now and we are best friends but he is not romantic at all and i see couples with romanance and i envy it but i don't want to break up wit him cuz i do love him
Please help me



Our Suggestion:
The first thing is that you should never compare your relationship to what others appear to be. A couple at a restaurant may seem all lovey-dovey but it may only be because the guy was a real slime to the girl the night before and is trying to make it up to her.

Every one of us has different expectations of what a relationship involves, and those expectations are set by fairy tales, TV, movies, our parents, and other influences. So the chance of two people ever matching exactly is pretty slim. There are probably people who would think your boyfriend is romantic because their own does even less. There are probably people who think you're not romantic because they want even more than you do. So it's all a matter of working with your partner and finding some sort of balance.

Think about something concrete that you'd like more of. You'd like him to hold your hand more when you walk. And then make an effort to work on it. Remember, he can't spontaneously know you want it. In his world, that's not part of how things go. So you have to help him learn. Take his hand when you walk. Comment how nice it makes you feel. He wants you to feel nice after all. After a few times, it'll become part of your "normal life".

If you want a goodnight kiss, then kiss him. Again, tell him how much you enjoy it. You need to build these things into your routine.

If you're talking about him *buying* you things like flowers and jewelry, that's not about romance. That's about marketing campaigns. People for thousands of years had love that was shown through tenderness, hugs, whispers in the ear and gazes across a room. They didn't have to go spend $20 at the local florist to "prove" they were in love. So resist the marketers, and pay attention to the REAL signs of romance, the ones that don't involve cash!

--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com



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