Is a relationship between a 21-yr-old and a recent high school graduate a good idea?Suggest AdviceDo you have some advice for this person? Visitor's Question: I have written you twice before and it always seems to put things into perspective for me. See I met this guy about three months ago when I was 20 (i am 21 now). He told me he was 19 and would be 20 in a couple months. I really liked him and we hung out all weekend. Then I found out he was only 17 and still in high school. I was mad at first and figured there was no way he could ever be my boyfriend but then I found myself wishing he were older and feeling really bad I refused to speak to him only because of his age. I ended up calling him and one thing led to another and I became him girlfriend. He made me happier than I had ever been in any relationship I had ever had. But the issue of him being 17 always bothered me and I wanted nothing more than to tell everyone that he was my age.... and on most occasions I lied about it. When I was honest people would just laugh at me and ask me what in hell I was doing. My dad told me he was just a boy and to leave him alone..... don’t mess with him. It seemed like I told myself he was my age more than anyone and when I went out with my older friends I would want to be with the guys who were in my age group. I went to his high school graduation and I knew that he will be legal very soon so it seemed like I was just weighting for him to grow up a little. I thought after he graduated I’d feel better about the situation but it always gave me stress as I was constantly worried about what everyone else thought. The other problem was that he was a virgin and me.... well I’ve been around the block a a-few times. I could never picture myself taking his virginity because sex means nothing to me and means a lot to him. I also have no interest in taking someone’s virginity because I know the kind of emotional bond that creates and I wouldn’t want to ruin him for the rest of his life if things didn’t work out how he expected. I ended up breaking up with him because of these issues but now I feel very depressed because he made me so happy. In your expert advice did I make the right choice? ccc Thank you. Our Suggestion: There's nothing wrong with the age difference. The problem is that you are not entirely comfortable with it. And you should go with your gut feelings. You mentioned a number of valid points as to why you shouldn't be going out with him. And you have broken up with him. Wait a month or so and see if you still miss him so badly. If you do, then try to get back together. Good luck! George --Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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