When he tries to give me advice or help me learn something I feel inadequate and stupid

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Visitor's Question:
I've always had to depend on myself for everything, even when I was young. I am now in college and have my first boyfriend, and I find it very hard to comunicate. When he tries to give me advice or help me learn something I feel inadequate and stupid. I get angry w/ him and shut him out. When he asks what is wrong I can't bring myself to tell him. This is hurting our relationship and i know it is hurting him. in turn, I feel horrible and would rather just end the relationship than deal w/ the pain I'm causing, but @ the same time I think I love him, whch makes me feel like I should try. should I break it off and spare him the pain? If not, what can I do.



Our Suggestion:
Not everyone communicates the same way.

It is possible that his style of communication does not fit with yours. You sound perfectly reasonable and quite intelligent to me.

The first thing to do is to be honest with him so is is not in a quandary. This will also relieve you of the pain that you are causing.

Just tell him that you feel inadequate and stupid when he tries to communicate with you. If he is sensitive and intelligent himself he will want to know how to reduce this facet of communications.

Give it a try; it's better than giving up!
George


--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com



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