I don't want her to think about it everytime she looks at me

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Visitor's Question:
I am 20 years old and I have been dating my 22 year old girlfriend for 2 1/2 years. She is the most fantastic person to ever enter my life. Recently, while having a few old friends over (and a new acquaintence) I tried marijuana for the first time ever... ... after drinking half a bottle of vodka. I went out to smoke a second time and the rest of the night is a blur. I found out the next evening from a good friend of mine that I had sex with the girl who brought the marijuana over (the new person) and we both agreed that I cannot keep this a secret from my girlfriend. It was the most difficult day of my life, but regardless... I told her the next day. She says she still wants to be with me, and it's only been a few days since the incident. We hang out every day, and even kiss once in a while (my girlfriend, that is) but every now and then I can see the pain welling up inside her and she clams up and starts talking less often. She also seems preoccupied with the details of the event. For example, I talked with a friend of mine who was there the night of the incident, not because he was there but because his girlfriend had cheated on him earlier in the year and they are still together and getting along fine. The next day she asked me if he said anytihng "helpful" to which I responded "Yes, he says it definitely looks good for us, it's just going to take time and patience." And she said "But, he still doesn't remember much from that night either?". I know it's only been a few days, and I understand that this is the hardest thing she'll ever have to go through, and that I deserve everything I'm dished, but I feel that if we want to get through this, we have to understand the past is irrepairable. What can I do to make things easier on her? I want this to work out, and I'm pretty sure she does, too. I don't want her to think about it everytime she looks at me. Please, help me. I'm never going to find another girl like her, and I'm SO SORRY for what I did. I don't know what to do, and I can't stand causing her more and more pain each day by just having her look at me.

No time for clever signatures,
-B




Our Suggestion:
Give her all the love you have.

Assure her that you have learned your lesson about experimenting with drugs or overdoing it with alcohol. Make sure she know this was a once in a lifetime event.

It will take her some time to recover from the shock, and she may have some doubts along the way. Be sure to listen carefully to everything she says. Communication is very important at this time.

I hope this works out for you! George

--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com



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