is this break just a bluff that he already gave up on?

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Visitor's Question:
Hi George. yea this is c* for the third time... ahhaha im soo embarrassed, you are prolly thinking geez why doesn't she just dump him... well i can't... my problem this time is that, he wanted time to think over our relationship. we've been together for almost two years <2 years in december> and lately hes been less affectionate, and just weird.... hes told me that he doesn't know if he loves me, he doesn't want a gf. then after, he told me that lets just forget it and ill deal with that feeling. then after that hes just been "there" and i tried to forget, but something in me told me, wow i can't go on like this... i need to know... so i called a break with him. he got pist telling me that breaks are stupid and we might as well break up because our relationship is so stupid and gay and annoying when it comes to drama. so i said is that what you want to do? he said yea so i said, ok, then he said fine lets take a break? okay,- i todl him that this break is for both of us to make things better. and that many couples have gotten better through breaks, he didn't liosten... he jus seems like he already is facing this with a negative pessimistic feeling. so i tried to explain, that i want to make things better, then i remember him telling me few days before that taking a break will only let him get farther away from me... so im worring because what if this break makes him get farther away him me... i mean i told him i need time to think, and im confused and shaky about our relationship like he is, but why am i worrying after calling this break.

he said that he understands and that well both hang out with our friends and find out if we like being single or want a bf or gf. so i said having a gf doesn't mean you can't have friends, but im not sure what he meant by that... omg , im scared... so do i talk to him at school? how do i act???

is it possible for a guy whos been no affectionate towards me , and thinks our relationship has gone old, aand isn't sure if he loves me or not, to think,,, and realize our value , and love me again, and come back?? or is this break just a bluff that he already gave up on? im so sorry to e-mail you so often,,, i mean try to think that this was you, ... then please tell me your honest oppinion..... all of my friends whos beein going out with her bfs and had troubles,,, took breaks too and they said that it always worked out... but i dunno that because i dunnno if theirs was like mine, who lost it.... so please reply asap!!! thank you George!

-17 year old c* hoos going out with an almost 18 year old guy--



Our Suggestion:
It's hard to know if a break is going to work out.

But, is sounds like both of you wanted something like a break. He said he needed time to think things over and you suggested a break. This seems a reasonable thing to do, but it is scary too.

You know that calling a break sometimes turns out to be the end of a relationship. You have to be prepared for that possibility. If you can't bear that thought then maybe you should call the break off. He is the one who has a problem with your relationship, and if he wants to stay with you he needs to offer advice on how to fix things.

Sorry you are in this situation! Good luck. George



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