i never got any flowers...i was trying to find a harmless way to get him jealous

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Visitor's Question:
my boyfriend and I have been dating for two and a half years on October 4, 2005. on October 24, 2005 he told me he wanted space. Now we both are from new Orleans and went through Katrina and we were separated for weeks at a time. But he would cry on the phone to me, tell me he missed me, wanted me home. We had the most perfect relationship. We cared for each other, we loved each other, we did a lot of things together, I couldn’t have asked for a better relationship. He said it wasn’t about me, or us, he said he saw a psychologist who told him when you are depressed or upset sometimes its good to start with a clean slate. He told me things could work out or they couldn’t. well Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday pass and on Thursday I moved back to the new Orleans are and we agreed to see eachother Friday night. So we did, and I bawled oh god did I bawl. I cried in his arms. And he said all week he would remember me and things I liked and think “oh she would like this” or “she would want this in our apartment one day” and he said that moment when I laid my head on my shoulder he said all he wanted to do was carry me upstairs and stuck me in bed. And he asked me to get back together. We hugged and kissed and it was incredible. So we said our goodbyes for the night and I went upstairs to my apartment and took the best shower in my life and laid in bed with a smile on my face. Then he called me when he got home and said he thinks he made a mistake and things didn’t feel right when he left. So we agreed he was just tired and exhausted and to sleep on it. So the next day (Saturday) he called me and said “hey baby im at the game in baton rouge I’ll call you when I get home from brads tonight” well… no call. Sunday passed, still no call.. Monday (Halloween) and Tuesday I called him for like the 7th time and he answered. (now over the past few days ive called and left him messages and I know he got them b/c I requested a receipt) I calmly asked “where have you been” and he said “around” and well.. he said he wasn’t ready to come back.
Well yesterday (Friday nov. 4) we had lunch and I have him his birthday presents (a fom pillow from brookestone and hot choc and marshmallows from Williams sonsoma b/c he loves them, his 18th is tomorrow the 6th) and we talked and he said he had a date that night. Well I couldn’t be mad b/c I had a “date” with an old friend of mind too. Well even after all of that we had sex. And it was incredible. And then we went our separate ways again and I called him after he left and told him we made a mistake, we shouldn’t have done that.. and I felt like shit. And well I haven’t really heard from him since. (its only been a day)
Im 17, he is 18. we had love, we were very much so in love. We planned our college life together…. What is going on?

update!! So on Sunday i called him and said "hey happy birthday!! and thank you for the flowers they are gorgeous!" (i never got any flowers...i was trying to find a harmless way to get him jealous) and later that night his sister said "i talked to him today and he said he never sent you flowers" and i said "well, i have no clue who sent them, yet" so last night (monday) arouund 9:30 he called. and he sounded very sad!
"hey! how have you been?"
him "alright, i guess.. did you find out who sent them?"
"no, not yet but i guess i will sooner or later"
him "oh.."
"soo how was your birthday??"
him "well i didnt do much b/c im waiting for everyone to come back to new orleans"
"oh thats good, how was the msu game?"
him "it was alright even though we lost"
"anything else you want to talk about"
him "hmm.. no.."
"okay then i guess ill go but why did you suddenly calll me?"
him "well i was looking in my wallet and saw your picture and wanted to give you a call"
"oh okay that sounds alright to me!"
him "so i'll call you some other time.."
"when do you mean?"
him "tomorrow"
"okay i get off at 220"
him "well is ok if i call you around 730 when i get out?"
"sure, talk to you tomorrow!"
and he said he still loved me!

what do you think now?




Our Suggestion:
I think he is still confused.

Until he figures out where he is coming from, you will have to deal with him being all over the place. So take what he says with a grain of salt.

The latest conversation you had with sounds promising, but as I said you can't trust what he says. He may be having bad side effects from Katrina.

Making him jealous may work in the short run, but in the long run being dishonest with him can only cause you trouble and I don't advise it.

What will work is you two having deep meaningful conversations about your feelings.

Good luck! George

--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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