I know I need to back off a bit but it is hard

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Visitor's Question:
Me and my boyfriend have been together on and off for 6 years. For the last 9 months we have been living together. I share a flat with my sister and a friend and I know he wasnt very comfortable there. He has now moved back in with his mum who is very controlling and he is a big "mamas boy"
I am finding it really hard not living with him even though we are still together. He told me he loves me for the first time when he moved out but I cant help but feel he is very distant. I feel that this is the beggining of the end and this is the last thing I want. I am making things worse because I am always paranoid of this. I know I need to back off a bit but it is hard. What should I do?



Our Suggestion:
At least you have made some advancement since he told you he loves you after six years. That is a good sign.

Between you two can you afford your own flat? That's the way to go if possible. Since he is so dependent on his mother, one of your highest priorities is to make sure you are a very good friend of her. Buy her chocolate or booze or something she likes to consume. Make sure your boyfriend knows that you like her too. She is a very important person in your relationship with him.

Talk with him about the future and see if he has any ideas for making your relationship work out. Try to get him thinking in that direction. He probably won't think of it himself.

Good luck! George



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