We broke up because I was a jerk to her

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Visitor's Question:
My girlfriend and I broke up about three months ago after a two year relationship, and she has been with this other kid ever since. She really couldn't stand me at the time we broke up because I had hurt her so much by being a total jerk and was completely inconsiderate to her. Since then however, me and her have started to talk comfortably to one another as friends. She claims not to have any feelings for me anymore because of this other guy, and I'm playing it smart by not mentioning my feeligns for her to her.

I don't know how long this guy and her will last, but I'm not even close to over her, so right now I'm just sort of backing off from girls. Her boyfriend got mad that she talks to me on instant messenger, so now me and my ex have agreed to only speak at work, and if I don't see her for a while, I told her I'd email her to ask her how things are going. I have no idea if when things end between her and this kid, if they ever do end that is, if she will see me in a better light and want to take another chance on me.

I guess my question to you is......Am I doing the right thing by laying off girls for a while to see where things go between my ex and her new boyfriend? I guess I figured that if I stay in touch with her it will show her that I care, and when the time is right she will feel comfortable coming to me if this kid ends up hurting her down the road. I don't know if she'd want to be with me again, but I really care about her and I guess I just want to stick around and see what happens. Like I said, it's only been three months, so it's not like we've been apart for a year or something. We broke up because I was a jerk to her, but I just hope that by being friends with her again and starting to show my better side to her again, that she may start to see in me what she ever did in the first place that got her interested in me.

I mean...it could take a long time, but usually when two people become best friends, in a lot of instances they start having feeligns for one another because they have that deep connection. Also, seeing as how she loved me at one point before, and we really connected on an extremely high level at that time, I'm hoping my odds are even better if I can show her I've matured and learned from my mistakes of the past. Thanks for your time and I look forward to your response.

Our Suggestion:
Your approach to her seems to be working fine so far.

However, there is no reason for you to avoid seeing other girls while you are waiting this out. It will make you more well rounded in your ex's eyes if you do see other girls.

Make sure she knows that you still need to talk with her even though you are seeing other girls.

Hope this works out well for you! George

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