We broke up in June last year

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Visitor's Question:
PLEASE HELP - I'm in dire need of advice!!!!

I've asked a couple of questions before and received very good advice which I tried, but my situation with my ex has blown out of proportion.

After we broke up in June last year, we tried to work on our friendship, because we were best friends before and during the relationship, we were very close-so close in fact that people still thought that we were together, then in October she met some guy,she fell in love with him and he liked her. Out of desperation to get her back, I met him and explained to him that me and her were trying to sort things out and that we still have alot of feelings for each other(which is not a lie) he understood and backed-off, saying that he can't give her what she needs and that he never fell in love with her. Me and him became good friends afterwards and he got back with his ex. Meanwhile my ex still had alot of feelings for him, but said that she didn't, she also had so many flings with other guys it's scary. so for a month things started to get a bit normal again, but everything I tried never made her notice me, even though she said that she still loves me, and that she can see me and her ending up married in the future, Last week we went to a club together and all her friends were there including the guy, and things started off so well, but whenever I went to go dance she would go somewhere else(the club is huge) and then I would try and find her(which I should not have done) and eventually after a couple of times she told me to stop following her and that she is not tied to leash, I immediately backed off and went somewhere else. After some time she came back and sat with me and we started chatting and having fun, then her best (girl)friend joined us, and they started talking about the deal they had about kissing guys that night, and she already did and her friends should do it as well. I asked her who she kissed and she refused to say who, which made me tense but I kept it inside. Then she wanted to go home with her, but we arranged for me to sleep over for the weekend, and I just exploded saying that she can go home with her and F*&$ her the whole night(they had sex together once, and I left it, but it still hurt)But I just want to get my stuff at her house, after that I haven't spoken to her untill Tuesday, at this moment I feel so ashamed of what I said but i did that because it was bottled inside and all this rejection and mixed feeling I get from her is driving me insane, I had a gun in my hand yesterday and was about to do something really stupid, but her image in my head kept me from doing it, I know that I have a obsession with her and that she is not the best person in the world(trust me on this one), but I love her so much and I just need to get some advice on what to do next whether it is to let go, wait or whatever, because I can't handle it anymore.........PLEASE HELP ME - I'm sick in my head.

Our Suggestion:
First of all, you are depressed and suicidal. You need to seek professional help of a medical nature. Please talk to a trusted person who can help you find the attention you need. If you have suicidal feelings again you can always call 911 (or the equivalent in your country to get assistance). You can even go to the emergency room of a local hospital.

You need the help of a professional counselor which I am not.

Professional counseling may be exactly what you need so you can understand yourself better and that will help you get your ex back again.

I wish you the best of luck! George

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