Hello Raven.
Yes. The time has come.
Exams are not as important as you are.
You must speak to someone who can help and support you through this.
You need your social worker / counsellor now.
Can your father help, too?
You cannot concentrate on exams properly, anyway, feeling like this.
You are not worthless. You are a decent caring girl who needs to be loved and appreciated ~ not just by others, but by you, yourself.
People care about you. You need to be positive and you need support so that you can become more positive.
You are not alone.
You are not the only teenager feeling as you do.
I'll let you into a secret now (I may have told you some of it before
). When I was a teenager, I suffered a lot with depression. I never cut myself. However, I used to make my mother remove all sharp objects from my bedroom at night, because night-time was the worst time for my depression and I was scared of what I might do.
When I suffered depression as an adult, I used to think that I couldn't bear it if life continued to be like that ~ teetering on the edge of a black hole.
But I also knew that life would not continue like that ~ and I was determined to see the light at the end of that tunnel.
I still get depressed at times ~ and it is extremely scary, but it passes.
I am guessing that 'cutting' is somehow related to depression.
It could be related to the things that have happened in your past.
It could be related, also, to teenage hormones / teenage depression / teenage angst.
You are not going to be the only person going through such things, but you may be more sensitive & vulnerable than most.
But the light is there at the end of that tunnel for you too.
With the help that you need, you can sort yourself out and have a very happy and successful life.
I am sorry about what your boyfriend has said.
It is possible that he has almost 'invented' a dream girl, because real life is so complicated for him.
But if this is a genuine friendship, that they have, then he could be becoming very fond of her, even though he cares a lot for you.
This sort of thing happens in teenage relationships.
Hopefully yours can take the strain, but, if not, you must not think that this is anything specifically negative about you; it is just the way of the world with young love.
Take care of yourself, Raven.
Does your social worker help you in the way that you would wish?
If not, then please make sure that you tell her everything.
She cannot help you with things that she does not know about.
We care about you.
We want to hear that you are doing well and getting help.
