Hello Lstdrgnus and welcome
Guess i just want advice.
I hope that we can help.
Let's have a look ...
Over the last year and half i have been seperated from my wife.
we are going through a divorce.
We are holding off on the filing of the papers untill she is out of school because of her school funding
Ok, well the obvious question is: why have you decided to divorce?
Also pertinent might be:
How old are both of you?
How long have you known each other?
How long have you been married?
How old were you when you met?
How old were you when you married?
How old is your daughter?
Sorry to deluge you with questions, but the answers may be useful
You say:
I love my wife more then i have ever loved any women i have ever known
I just don't know that i want to love another women and i know that im not ready to move on.
I love my wife to the point that i find my self doing things that i have never done before.
If you are so much in love with your wife, and do not want to move on, then why are you separated?
If you feel like this, yet you are agreeing with the divorce, then one wonders if your wife knows how you feel.
Have you told her?
Has she told you how she feels?
I catch her looking at ME ... and watch her turn her gaze away quickly as if ashamed she was looking at me.
she sits on the couch facing me sometimes just a little to close where we are touching.
she has me sleep in the bed with her.
I find her cuddled up to my back or she is just a little too close.
She changes her clothes (shirt Bra Pants and panties) right infront of me
To me, these sound like actions designed ~ deliberately or subconsciously ~ to encourage you to be affectionate towards her.
Why do you think that she would do this?
Did she feel that there was a lack of affection in your marriage?
Could it be that she still loves you, but thinks that you do not love her, or are not attracted to her?
And, if you are separated, then why are you sharing her bed?
Why are you there when she is changing her clothes?
Is this just when you visit to see your daughter, or do you spend a lot of time in the 'marital home'?
i don't know how if she IS interested to take one of those times to move it back into a chance to rekindling a possible romantic relationship.
You are married to her.
You are planning a divorce.
She is inciting you to be more loving and attentive.
You love her.
It's now or never, is it not?
Do you fear that she is just leading you on, and that, if you responded to the cuddling, or the nakednmess, or the sleeping together, that she might react badly, and become unpleasant towards you? ~ That it is a trick of some kind?
If it happens regularly, then this seems unlikely.
However, I cannot be sure of anything, because I do not know her, or how she behaves generally ~ nor do I know you, or the situation, of course ~ but, if you love her, and she is encouraging you, and you share a bed, and she snuggles up to you, then I would say that there is a strong possibility that she may be interested in reviving your marriage.
You say:
'i don't know how'.
Well, how about sitting down with her and talking?
Tell her how you feel.
Communication is usually the key.
Tell her that you have noticed how affectionate and open she can be with you, sometimes, and that you wonder if she thinks that there is any chance of saving the marriage.
Suggest going out on 'dates', perhaps.
The three of you could go to the beach, or bowling, or for a country walk, or whatever.
If you could get a reliable babysitter, then maybe you could go out for a romantic meal, or to the theatre, or something.
I catch her looking at ME when i play with our daughter
You have a little girl and it would be so nice if your family trio could be saved.
Your wife may be noticing the bond between you & your child, and worrying about that bond being broken.
Could you go for family counselling, perhaps?
Whatever happens, try not to let your daughter suffer, or feel that she is to blame for a break up, or that she is not loved.
Stay part of her life.
Don't let either of you insult or criticise the other in front of the child.
I hope that you will be able to work this out
Marriages that appear to be broken can sometimes be mended.
Have a look at this thread:
http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthread...nd_M#Post396923This is, obviously, a difficult and confusing time for you.
Try to stay positive, and try to keep channels of communication open.
Good luck!
