My love triangle... with two brothers. Please help!
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old FemaleThis whole thing started over a year ago. I had a massive crush on this older, 18 year old, very handsome and funny guy. But his little brother, who was shy and had liked me for the longest time, was my best friend. I loved his little brother, but only as a friend. Finally his older brother asked me out and we had a wonderful relationship up until I started to realize that I had feelings for my best friend, his little brother. It didn't make any sense to me because I never wanted him until I was very happy with his older brother. We would always tell each other 'I love you' and be very affectionate towards one another. and then...I did the worst. I cheated on my boyfriend with his younger brother. And then broke up with him, for his younger brother. And we didn't last long. The relationship was rocky and we fought so much, because we were both so stressed over everything that had happened. I broke up with him after I couldn't take the love triangle anymore. I feel terrible because his older brother really loved me and would do anything to see me smile. A couple months after me and 'little brother' broke up, we were still hooking up on occasion. And we had sex. After that I realized he didn't really care all that much about me and was just a horny 16 year old. I cried and cried because I felt used and just plain terrible. I am still very close with both of them, and still love them both, in very different ways. But now, hooking up with his younger brother is very rare. But when we do, I do not fee sad when he hurries to the door. I feel so happy I could dance. I'm not sad that he doesn't love me like that anymore. And I'm so fond of his older brother, still. We both still tell each other we love each other and talk about the future. Sometimes it will hit me how messed up this love triangle is and how it could be really hurting all of us. We all know everything that has happened, but yet he still loves me. People tell me I need to find a different guy and move on from them. But I care so much about them both and it is hard. But with 'younger brother' I don't feel jealousy anymore and I never feel sad when he leaves. I really want his older brother again, since he had always been here for me and I honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with him. But the way his family looks at me is horrible and I know I would never be accepted. I want to find another guy, but no one even compares to how he makes me feel. I need to know if I am doing the right thing by sticking around in their lives, especially older brother, or if I should move on and stop putting up with my love triangle. I know I need to stop hooking up with his younger brother. But sex and love are two different things and the way he makes me feel to the way his older brother makes me feel is completely different. Please help. And I am terribly sorry this was so long, I just have no idea how I could shorten it without you getting the full exact story. Thank you so very much to whoever replies :)
RomanceClass.com AdviceI am sorry you are in this situation.
As you suggested, you should leave the younger boy behind and make plans with his brother. But then you will probably fall back into lust with the younger one.
If you have access to a counselor or a therapist then talk with them and see what they say after hearing you talk.
Sorry I have no other ideas because this is a unique situation and you seem to be equally torn between the two.
Could the three of you get together and talk it over? Not easy, I know.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
