Cheating with a Younger Man

Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Female
I am married for 18 yrs. and no children. My husband loves me so much. I am not sure of myself if I still have love my husband. I try my best to be romantic with him. trying to do something different everyday to make our relationship different and not monotonous. My husband is not really a romantic person but he is excellent in bed.

Lately, I met a young man half of my age, different culture than mine. just the opposite of my husband. He works in my husband's business and we see each other practically every day. We started our relationship with friendship then turned into flirting for few months. I have told him from the beginning that we cannot have any kind of relationship. He was persistent and I kind of enjoyed it and let it go through.

Then a year later we started dating once a month and had few kisses. When my husband left for a business trip for 3 weeks, we got more sexually involved. This time, I was falling in love with this young man more and more. I have expressed my feeling with this young man. Him on another hand has difficulty expressing himself. He has only said to the extent that his action should be enough. I try to please this young man on everything that he needs. not something that I do to my husband.

I am in love this young man, but I cannot leave my husband. I do not have the same feeling that i used to have with my husband. What do I do? Advice
Relationships thrive when they get attention - they wither if they are not paid attention to. Your relationship with your husband is very naturally going to wither if you are pouring your attention and energy into this external guy.

Yes, he's exciting at first. The human body is made to do that. It sends hormones and feelings and energies into you when a new, interesting guy comes along. But the long term benefits of a dedicated partner outweigh the short term blast of hormones that would come from bed-hopping every three or four years to re-experience that rush.

You need to end it with the young guy. It is damaging your long term relationship with the man you are not going to leave. If you're going to be with your husband, then you should make that relationship the best it can be, to be rewarding and fulfilling to you. If you're having trouble with that, there are numerous therapists and helpers who can bring whatever you feel is lacking back into the situation. Pretty much any relationship can be improved. Pour your energies into doing that, and you might be surprised what results.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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