She Just Broke Up - Should I Ask Her Out?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
There is this girl that i have worked with for 2 years now. My feelings for her have become stronger and stronger over time. We get along very well and I think we have a lot in common.

The thing is up until recently she has been in a long term relationship (they were living together) with a guy. She is leaving to go to back school soon which also inspired me to go to back school as well. Because she was really the only reason I was staying at this job as well as not moving up as I would have liked.

Problem is she will be going to school about 2 hours away where as I would be staying here. She still has family here so she would be coming back to visit often. I would love to be with her even if it meant a long distance relationship.

I know she is hurting from her break up, but I don't want to miss my chance. So my question is do I go for it and how should I go about telling her how I feel? Advice
There's an incredible risk involved with being the "rebound guy". This could put you in a situation where she dated you for a short while and then moved on because you were involved with all the rebound emotions, and now she wanted to have her free time. Right now she's in the free time period and you want to make sure she gets through it thoroughly (i.e. gets it all out of her system) before you start to date her.

I would do your very best to be her good, trustworthy friend right now. The guy she can rely on. Build that relationship as strong as you can. Do not pressure her yet to date. Let her heal and recover. That way when she IS ready, you can be the one there to help her start her new life.


-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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