Am I too jealous or should he watch what he says?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my fiancee for 6 years, and I find myself being more jealous than I have really ever felt with anyone else before. I don't mind if he has friends that are girls because he really doesn't give me any reason to doubt his fidelity, but he always tells me which ones are attractive to him and goes into detail sometimes. It doesn't feel like he's trying to make me jealous, just like he's making conversation and just has no idea that it will bother me. I don't want to act jealous, but after I know who he thinks is attractive, I'm uncomfortable around her or when he mentions doing anything with her. We had a fight about it once, but he acted like I was being crazy so I never wanted to bring it up this my problem, his, or both? Advice
It is both. You need to tell him to please not talk about other girls with you anymore. Simply tell him it makes you uncomfortable - no need to go into laborious detail about why. If he respects you, he will care enough to not make you uncomfortable. It is not that you are prohibiting him from having friends - it's just that you don't want to hear all that. It's a reasonable request.

If he says he will try, then that is great. If he slips up a few times, remind him that he said he would try not to do that anymore, and then drop it. Eventually he will remember that he can't chat about girls with you like he does with his guy friends.

If he does nothing to try to stop, then you will have done your part by letting him know how you feel. At that point you will need to consider if you can live with his behavior or not.

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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