Where and how to meet men..
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hey, I am a shy young woman of twenty two years, recently diagnosed with mild Asperger's Syndrome. The psychologist said my symptoms of it are mild enough to be a normal person with small, fixable issues. This is my answer as to why I was slightly unusual and have so much trouble keeping friends, especially women. and keeping a partner. People always seem to know that something's slightly off and want to escape. I can't work out what I'm doing wrong, but my best friend said I try too hard. I was wondering if you have any ideas on how to approach and have conversations with men? Ones that won't come across as weird or overly intense. How most women would approach or flirt and have beginner conversations..I am not really sure. My flirting skills are nonexistent and don't know how to attract nice men other than physically.
I actually know quite a bit about Aspergers. I agree that someone with this syndrome comes across as a little 'off' - not a bad thing, but as something different. It can be subtle.
I'd say the best approach is not to try to 'fit in' so much, as try to find people who are also a little quirky, and who appreciate your unique style and insight. You can't really 'make' yourself non-intense; it comes with the territory. It might be worthwhile to learn how to relax in general - do yoga, read up on breathing exercises, learn to meditate, read books about managing stress. If you have anxiety this will help in every area of your life.
You can certainly experiment with mild flirting and see how comfortable you are with it. This includes things like smiling, being happy to see someone and letting that show, being generally happy with yourself, giving someone a hug hello or goodbye if you feel comfortable doing that. We have thousands of flirting tips for girls and a few how to flirt ebooks on this website if you want to research the topic - http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/19 and http://www.romanceclass.com/ebooks/girls.asp - checking those out should help!
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com