why dont i get over this jealousy

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
hi there~
so ive been daitng my bf for about almost 2yrs now and to this day am still so jealous of all his friend at first i had a reason when we started dating because he would put all his friend before me especially one of his girlfriend(just friends)they would spend time together alone all the time like, watch tv together, lunch, dinner etc.. they would just hangout all the time of course he would ask me to go with him but and at times he would just tell well am leaving and would leave to go with her i would get so upset and jealous i hate to feel this way i wouldnt go for the fact that we dont like each other she thinks am ugly and can do way better then me and i dont kno why shes alwyas hated me. well we struggled with this problem for over 11 months until finally we decided to end the relationship because of all the problems. we ended up getting back together again about a month later he told me he was so sorry for everything he has put me through and for putting her before me all the time and begged me to take him back as soon as she found out she got so mad and talked really bad about me and how horriable i was but i always ask myself why does she hate me so bad she has a loving caring bf too. so she stopped tallking as much to my bf but shes still in the picture. during this time my bf has gotten WAY better and has changed. the only thing is that i still get so mad when he goes to her house still i feel so much hate and jealousy i cant get over it and i dont kno why i always get mad at him about it but i just cant see to get over it. i dont want it to ruin my relationship especially now that he has changed but this feeling haunts me please give me adivce so i can move on.....

RomanceClass.com Advice
This does put you in a weird spot. You can't control who your boyfriend's friends are and should not try. But still, this girl seems to be making inappropriate waves for you. She even seems to relish making this into a crazy sort of love triangle.

All you can really do is try to let her actions roll off your back. Try to be calm and ignore her antics. Maybe she just likes getting a rise out of you. Ignoring her might make her less interested in getting under your skin.

If you and your boyfriend have broken up over this girl in the past, I think that should send up a red flag. I'm glad he is doing better with making you his priority, and hopefully this will be enough to keep your relationship sound and healthy.

In the meantime, work on keeping your jealousy under control, since only you can control your happiness, ultimately.

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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