Is there a time frame when I should assume shes not calling ?

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I go to Starbucks fairly often to do work. Starting back in August I starting seeing this one girl come in every couple of weeks that I thought was very cute.

I happened to sit next to her a couple times and had a little small chit chat with her but nothing memorable. However there was something about her and I wanted to ask her out. However I didnt want to embarrass myself or make her feel uncomfortable since shes there working so I hesitated.

I happened to tell a female colleague about her and she suggested sneaking her an anonymous nice note telling her how I felt and give her the option to call you and putting the ball in her court. If she doesnt call she either has a b/f or just isnt interested for some reason. She will never know its me and no one sitting around me hears about this.

She told me thats how she met her husband. She got a note at a coffee shop and she thought it was such a sweet thing and she called him 2 days later. But that was just her.

So last Thurs I saw the girl , I wrote a nice note with my phone # and gave it to an employee who gave it to her. He told me she read it after I left. Now my question is is there a general time frame where I could pretty much safely say that she isnt calling ? Ill never know her situation unless I hear from her or see her with her b/f..

Its been 4 days. Has the window of time passed ? Or am I writing her off too soon. Either way I feel a sense of relief that I did give her the letter no matter what happens.

I would just appreciate some feedback...Thanks Advice
I'd actually talk to her in person. You sent her an anonymous note, which could be seen either as very sweet, or somewhat creepy. It may be that this girl is leaning towards the creepy end of things, wondering who her stalker is.

Or yes, she may have a boyfriend.

Actually, it could be any number of things outside your control. I think you did a romantic thing, but with this girl it does not seem to have worked. :)

Set the matter to rest. Buy her a coffee and tell her the note was from you. Say you hope she saw it as a nice gesture, since that is what you intended. Hopefully you can start fresh from there!

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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