I Left Him - I Want Him Back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old FemaleI recently just split up with my ex boyfriend after three years of being together. I am lost now. I feel like I don't know where to go from here. And I feel like I can't get over him. When ever I see another girl around I feel a heart sinking moment.
The first months of being apart I was seeing several people to try and get over him but it was no use and my ex lives next door to me. After he would hear of all the people I was seeing he would make up stories of woman he was seeing but there really was no women. We are still talking to each other but having a no strings attached relationship with one another. He says he doesn't want to get back together but I want to.
Every time I talk to him and tell him how I feel he cries and pauses he even gave me his favorite hat. But he says he doesn't want to get back together. I want him back I love him with all my heart. I broke up with him but now I see I need him in my life and I want him with all my heart.. please.. need to know what to do..
RomanceClass.com AdviceWanting your ex back is the *natural* result of a break-up - you long for the safety and security of what you had. Suddenly you remember mostly the good times and forget all about the painful times. It's a normal brain function. So you're definitely not alone there.
The question is of course why you broke up. Something had to be fairly seriously broken to go from a relationship to doing all the messy stuff that happens when you break up. It sounds like he doesn't want to go through that again, and that you've now minimized what those issues were.
We have a ton of tips on how to get an ex back -
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/9
But a key is that you have to openly discuss what the issues were and not just minimize them. They caused a breakup. They were serious. I would suggest getting a third party like a therapist or minister or someone to help you with that. If you show him you are serious about addressing those issues, then he might be willing to give it another shot.
Good luck!
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
