I Engage in Self Cutting - My Ex Won't Come Back

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I was dating this guy for about 4 months and was WITH him emotion-wise for about 6 months, in high school that's a long time.

At the beginning things were perfect, but after about 2-3 months into us actually dating things sorta started getting rocky. We fought a little but we always ended up figuring it out and being happy as can be in the end.

About a week ago I said that maybe me and him should take a break and I expressed my feeling about this other boy and how I felt he could help be re-find myself, because I had lost a lot of who I was while dating my now ex. But, when he started packing his stuff, because he lived with me, I couldn't handle it. I started crying as did he and I said that I wanted him more then the other boy.

We had agreed to stay together secretly while I hung out with this other guy for a day and I told him that I probably would only kiss him.

Well that night he went to this girl's side to help her after just getting evicted and needing help to move stuff and he stayed at a hotel with them. Well I hung out with the other boy and a friend of ours and I barely paid attention to the boy I wanted before because I couldn't get my boyfriend off my mind.

When I got home at 8:30 my boyfriend came back and we talked until midnight going back and forth on whether we were going to break up or not because neither of us wanted to but we thought we had to. He had told me that he had slept with the girl the night before days after me telling him that he was going to be my only partner and how important sex was to me. Then I hadn't cared but come Monday I had said that I couldn't be with him for awhile.

A couple days later I realized that I wanted him so bad and that he meant everything to me. But because I had started cutting again (I'm not suicidal it's something that's been helping) and a bunch of other stuff he said we couldn't be together. He got with the other girl and has been saying that because of all the drama I had caused and how much I had guilt tripped him he didn't miss me, even though when we hug he holds me very tight and I can see that he misses me when he looks at me and people say how beat up he looks at this break-up...

It's been about a week and I'm starting to calm down but I miss him so much that my heart hurts, I've barely been sleeping, and I've been trying not to breakdown all the time...

I have no idea how to get him back at this point but I have to figure something out and I need help on what to do... I'm so in love with him that I just can't loose him...

RomanceClass.com Advice
If you are deliberately mutilating yourself, you absolutely need to seek out help. It is an incredibly dangerous warning sign if you are actively causing yourself bodily harm like that. Your ex boyfriend is definitely right in seeing the danger in that and not wanting to get involved while you are doing that.

Seek out help right away. Find someone to talk with and to get you into a support system. If you want your boyfriend back, then you need to be a strong, whole person that he can rely on. Right now you are not that - and you need help so that you can become that person that he wants to be with.

Take this VERY SERIOUSLY. Go seek help and support.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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