Falling in Love with my Best Friend
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old FemaleMy friend and I have dated many times within the past 8 years. We would be together for a month or so then not talk to one another for as long as 2 years. Now we are best friends and have an awesome relationship together.
The only thing is that I think I'm developing feelings for him again. The more I try to get close to him the more he pulls away. Then when I decide that maybe it's not right he shows interest in me again.
Do I just be honest and tell him that I have feelings for him or would that scare him away and I would lose that friendship we have worked for?
RomanceClass.com AdviceI have a whole from-friends-to-dating set of info here -
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/friendlover.asp
definitely don't just launch into it. He has natural fears and desires just like you do - the desire for each other, the fear or ruining things. This is REALLY normal and the best relationships all form from best friendships so just about every great relationship out there has gone through exactly what you are going through.
Take it slow and easy, and show him that you're not risking the friendship by making it more romantic. If anything you make it much, much better. That forms the very best boyfriend-girlfriend pairings.
It's a mental hurdle many people have to get over - realizing that a great girlfriend is the one who's a great friend, not necessarily the one that MTV says you should have. If people chase youth and beauty, they're going to have to keep trading in their girlfriends each year for a younger model. But if a guy finds a girl that is a real partner, that is the person you keep for life.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Mutuality
