She Needs Medical Care in Another Country

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
So I met the girl of my dreams on a night out. When I mean girl of my dreams it was love at first sight for me. I am super unlucky I feel when it comes to women and it's super rare that anyone strikes me the way she has. I got her number and have met up and kept in constant touch every day since.

When we met she had only just split from her ex and she also has health problems occasionally which depress her.

So a couple of months go by and she knows I like her a lot but she says it's too soon and needs some time on her own, not to sleep about but to get herself together. She has had some very bad ex's in the past and is basically a bit despondant with relationships.

She knows how I feel and I told her I would treasure her and never hurt hurt her which I think she believes.

So I get some very encouraging texts, she has fallen for me, but just needs some time, then one night she rings me at 2am and tells me she loves me.

Next day unfortunately her health let her down and she ended up in hospital for a week. I gave her some time to get herself together and pretty much laid it on the line a week later.

She said she wants to move back to her old home in London :( She gets a lot of grief from her last ex, she feels pressured by me, and the hospital which deals with her condition is there. I felt pretty much blown out by this because she said she had feelings for me and I let myself hope, be happy you know. It has been a long time since someone has said that to me. Basically she felt pressured and kinda cooled things off.

I am still in touch with her every day and trying to be a happy chappy and support her and not pressure her. She is unsure if she will go back to london now but I am so torn.

All i want to do is beg her to stay, as far as I am concerned it was fate, i adore this girl and thought of her not in my life hurts! But I don't want to pressure her, I just don't know what to do, it's consuming my thoughts.

This isnt some teenage crush, I am 32 with an ex fiancee and a child, but I have never felt like this about anyone before!

Does anyone have any advice as I can't pour my heart out to her, and all I want to do is keep her in my life not drive her away.

Thanks peeps. Advice
If she's got a medical condition serious enough to land her in the hospital, and the best place for her to get treatment is London, then I would have to say gently that her health is critically important. She needs to be able to get better. Everything else can come after that. She needs to be healthy, and happy, before she can move on with other parts of her life.

Many people have long distance relationships that thrive. Think of all the men and women in the military who have loving marriages!

When she is more healed, then you can consider your next step. Maybe you can move to be with her, and maybe she can move to be with you. There are many options.

But her health should always come first.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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