Contacting an Ex

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Hi ...

My question is...

My ex girlfriend who I have been separated from for quite some time is having a birthday coming up in the next 2 weeks...

We havent had contact in a long time...

I am sending her a birthday card..

I am not going to bring up anything about the relationship nor am I going to express romantic feelings..

Just that I do still think of her and hope she's doing well..

Of course I want her to contact me with a positive response b/c I want to get back together with her and I'm hoping this starts a line of communication between us..

I am not sure that she still has my contact info though.

What I want to know is it OK that I somehow slip my phone number into the card just so she has it ?

Maybe write it on a small piece of paper and tape it into the card without saying anything on it ? Nothing but the phone number

Deep down however hoping it would tempt her..

I had the outside of the card custom made with a picture of a LOTUS FLOWER which is what her name means in Hindi. (She is Indian)..

If she lost my number and/or my email the only contact info she would have is my return address on the envelope of the card..

Please let me know what you think and what advice you may have for me...

Thanks... Advice
I would try for something subtle so she has it but it doesn't look like you're pushing her to contact you. That way she feels that it's more her own choice to do it, not that she's caving in to pressure.

I would get some label stock from your local paper store, the kind that you can send through a printer and that lets you make mailing labels. Then I'd make up a mailing label that has your address and phone # and email on it. So that way it looks like a standard mailing label. Then use that on the envelope. That way it's all right there and she can choose whatever one she wants, but it's nice and subtle so that she feels she is taking the initiative to do it. And that way if she's more comfortable emailing to start with she has the option. You want to give her as many options as possible.

Good luck!

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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