Dating a co-worker

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have a co worker who I've been talking to for a few months now. I've developed a crush on her. I've caught her looking at me from time to time and she remembers a lot of the things I tell her and brings it up during a conversation. When we are in a group setting, we always somehow sit next to each other or are walking together than with our group.

On one occasion, we were at a bar and she was with talking with our other co workers while I was talking to someone else and I caught her take a quick look at me twice. Then later on that night, we just gravitated toward each other and hung out for the remainder of the time. At work, if I haven't talked to her for most of the day, and when I finally do, her face lights up.

I want to ask her to hang out outside of work but I don't know how to approach her like that. Does she even like me? Advice
It's always a bit of a risk to date a co-worker. If things go awry it can make the work place miserable for both of you and one or both of you might have to find a new job. Especially in this current economic climate that can be very tricky. So be sure you've got all of that thought about before you begin to pursue this.

If you're still sure you're willing to try, and willing to handle the consequences if it doesn't work, I'd find out what movies she really likes. Then, when a movie of that type is coming out, mention to her that you were planning to go on X night and your friend you normally go with doesn't want to go with you. Ask if she'd want to go along with you. I.e. don't make it a 'date' just make it a 'share the movie with me'. And make sure it's one you know she'd like. Hopefully you'll get a sense from her answer how she feels. She can always say 'no I can't make it' and no hard feelings, and she can shade that with a 'but maybe another time' or just leave it that she's not open to the idea of spending time with you.

Good luck!

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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