School Guy vs Work Guy

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Person
My friend and I rent in the same building. We knew each other for 3 years. Last year we hooked up. I'm the type who studies and he's the type who parties. After a few months I told him I wanted a relationship but he said he wasn't ready for anything serious.

We broke off and during the summer I met another guy. He's sweet, kind and very driven. We got along great but then school started and I saw my school guy everyday while my work guy got so busy with work and gym that we drifted apart. School guy and I started hooking up again. I'm so attached to school guy because I feel so comfortable with him, and he was my first for everything. I never told school guy exactly how much i like him though cause I'm afraid he wouldn't feel the same. With work guy our relationship was talking and getting to know each other so I knew he liked me for me.

I know I have to choose. if i choose work guy (who i don't see often) then i'll have to break off with school guy and see him everyday which is going hurt. But if I choose school guy, I don't know if he really likes me or if we'll ever be together and even if we end up together im afraid that he might take me for granted.

What should I do? Advice
If you're still in school then everything is going to change soon anyway. Nothing you do now is going to guarantee any future outcome. For example, worrying about seeing someone everyday in school is a short term issue.

Right now you need to get through school. So choose the person you enjoy your time with the most and who most supports you in your dreams. The one you want to be with now. When school is over that will be an entirely new situation and there's no way to even guess what life will be like at that point. There's only so much you can plan for in life.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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