My Guy's Best Friend Loves Strip Clubs

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
So my boyfriend and I went through a year separation during which time his new best friend took him out and got him drunk to ease his pain. Well this friend just isn't a good guy. He's constantly spending his money at strip clubs and bars, objectifies women, is 30 years old, is always talking to someone new (who is usually a stripper or is crazy)

When we do hang out he's calling me a "thief" for taking his friend and he's constantly telling my boyfriend he's "married" and is an asshole for not going out to the bars with him all the time. He's very manipulative too!

If my boyfriend doesn't want to do something he will pout or lay a guilt trip on him so he'll get what he wants.

I will say a small part of me feels bad for the guy, but his bad habits are effecting my boyfriend and our relationship cause he constantly wants to go out with him to bars which is not how he used to be.

I'm trying to be accepting, but over time I can see this being a huge issue and I honestly don't know what's the best approach for resolving this within myself or with my boyfriend. Advice
People go through phases and most people grow out of them. It sounds like this friend is stuck in a phase and is trying to drag other people down with him so he doesn't feel as bad about it.

Few things last forever. Maybe this friend will move away. Maybe he'll hook up with a woman and stop going out. So I wouldn't worry long term about it always being this way. More short term I would find other fun things to do with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is choosing the bars because, I'm guessing, it seems better than the alternatives. So find better alternatives. Find fun things for you two to do that he can look forward to. Things he enjoys and that don't involve strip clubs.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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