He Left Me after 7 Years and Married Another Immediately



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Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
We are not teenagers but both middle-aged but it seems to hurt more then. We were together for 7 years and shared some really good times and talked about everything except our real feelings (he always said he could not talk,I was scared to) I had problems that he would not divorce his wife (they had been separated before we met and lived apart) and I could just not bring the subject up; I felt that he would do it if he really wanted to. We had so many plans to spend the rest of our lives together etc and then he casually told me that he had met someone else and expected it to be all right by me. I was devastated and told him to go away which he did and a few months later married his new woman after divorcing quickly which really hurt again.

We did not have closure; we live in a small town and though I try to keep away from where I know he goes, I have met him in passing once or twice (we have been apart now for 18 months) and did not handle it well at all. I know I should act casually and pretend I am fine, but inside I am still so cut up, guilty and angry and sad all at once.

Sometimes I think I have not moved on at all. Intellectually, I know I am attractive, witty and usually fun to be with but my confidence is still very low.

How on earth do I move forward? Everything reminds me of what I have lost. Friends cannot understand what went wrong between us and many are sympathetic but I still feel so guilty and to blame. I wish he would move far away and allow me to get on with my life. Or at least I wish I could come to terms with all this and grow up.




User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
You're not alone


I UNFORTUNATELY DON'T HAVE ANY ADVICE, I THOUGHT THE RESPONSE WRITEN FROM "YOUR FRIENDLY ADVISOR" ABOUT COVERED IT AND WAS GREAT. I HAD TO RESPOND AFTER READING THIS BECAUSE MY SITUATION IS SO SIMILAR AND I'VE BEEN FEELING LIKE THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD THIS HAS HAPPENED TO. I AM 38 YRS OLD, HAD BEEN IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP AND LIVING TOGETHER FOR SEVEN YEARS. FOR CHRISTMAS 2004 I GOT A BEAUTIFUL ENGAGEMENT RING, IN FEBRUARY 2005 WE WERE LOOKING AT HOUSES TO BUY, ON APRIL 1, 2005 HE MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT A HOUR AFTER BREAKING UP WITH ME ON THE PHONE. JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE.

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