Religion Broke us UpWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male Hi, this question is probably a tough one. i just broke up w/ mg gf after 1 year. We had broken up many times because and only b/c of religion. My ex is a completely diff faith then me. I knew in the beginning she was deeply religious, i on the other hand believe that God is universal and all paths lead to Him, which ever way you to choose to follow. basically we kept breaking up over the issues of kids and what religion they would be. She wants them to be her religion and her religion only. The problem lies that she wants them to to everything--like go to sunday school once a week, go to "church" once a week even more if there are special holidays, she wants me to contribute to her "church" in monetary means, etc.. I told her i dont have a problem w/ this b./c i have accepted her 100% and i feel my kids should be her faith b/c thats what their mom is. However, i felt that b/c of all this i may feel alone, and isolated in my own family since I am not allowed to participate in the church b/c i am of a different faith. Also i feel that I too would like to occasionaly pray together w/ my children, however she will not "allow" that b/c i am of a different faith. I have explained/ reasoned with her in great detail that this is not a religious issue, but one of respect. She may not completely agree w/ my religious views, but she can certainly respect them, and can certainly apprecitate a father's desire to pray w/ his children and not be limited/ restricted. Again I told her how i feel in great detail, my fears (isolated), I am willing to give her everything I possibly can, if she can too understand and accept me completely (including my faith) Again i feel like she has made a lot of request and "demands" and I feel like I have compromised as much as I can, but when I feel like I am not getting the return of commitment and acceptance I get puzzled. Why tell me that u want to marry me and i am the one and I am perfect? To be honest, she is a good person, caring and i adore her a lot. But I am dissapointed that she cant reason that i am willing to give her the world if she too can show some form of commitment and respect for me and understand my situation. I honestly feel i am not asking too much, I just want the ability to pass on who and what I am to my own children without having to feel restricted. Thanks. *Puzzled* User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male Love yourself first I am currently going through the same thing at this time. Only, that she became a "born-again" Christian, in which makes it worse. Even after knowing the real her for 2 wonderful years of being together, before she was suckered into this, and also having a very strong relationship, and having the same beliefs, she was brainwashed by a friend that said she needed to be saved. "Saved by what?" I ask myself. Her individuality, or from society? To me religion is a belief, and not a solution to one's problems. And yet, it shouldn't surpass one's love for themselves. In my belief, God would never allow that to happen to someone. Some people need to wake up and see the real world and not confine themselves to just religion. It kinda takes away one person's individuality in my opinion. How can you love anyone or anything, including God, without loving yourself first? The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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