BreakupWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female Hi, My boyfriend of 4 years recently broke up with me. When we were together we were very loving and we often talked of marriage. There was no jealousy or cheating and he was and is great. When he broke up with me he said he didn't feel in love with me anymore, although he couldn't say why, and he didn't want to be in a relationship right now. He said he cared for me and wanted to stay friends. I told him I still loved him and I called and e mailed a lot and I think this pushed him away a bit. He was nice to me but said he didn't regret it and didn't think we would get back. He said he misses me sometimes but is very busy and hasn't had a lot of time to think about the breakup. Near the end things got routine and I might have been clingy so I don't know if that was a factor. He has told me he still wants to be friends and cares but feels uncomfortable seeing me right now and wants time away. He doesn't call anymore or write e mails but we are supposed to meet at the end of the month for his birthday. I really do still love him and I want to get him back. I do not want to move on and I want to know what I can do to win his love back. I also wonder why he seems to be dealing with this so well. He cried when we broke up but now he seems better? Do guys handel breakups better or will it just take time for him to process his loss? I was good and loving to him and always faithful. He was also good to me and we got along and were very close. Do I stand a chance in time? User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female boys heal faster I understand that you still love him and that you all had a good relationship, but as hard as this may sound and seem, you've got to move on. Believe me, I am going through the same thing you are going through. My boyfriend and I just broke up after being together for almost two years, and trying to cope with the fact that things will not be like they used to is hard, knowing that I can't talk to him like I used to anymore, be with him like I used to, etc., but I know that the only way to help myself is to move on.This may sound harsh, but believe me, he is really over it. Unfortunately, studies have shown, and guys have even said this themselves, that it doesn't take them too long to get over break ups. What's worse is that the way we sit and think about how things used to be, and wonder what they're doing, they don't. I hope that my advice has been helpful to you, and I did not mean to sound too harsh, and every word that I have typed in this message to you I have let soak into my mind as well. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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