Dreaming About an Old LoveWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female My first love was when I was 17 years old. I dated this guy for about 6 months, and was very much in love with him. He was my “first”! My parents job got transferred and I had to move a few hours away, and we ended up breaking up. I then started dating a guy that I ended up marrying. We have now been together for 9 years and married for 4 years, and I really do love him. The problem is, that for the past 5 years, I have been talking to guy number 1 without my husband’s knowledge. I still have friends in the town that he lives in and almost every time I go there to visit, I either call him or see him. I have never physically cheated on my husband in any way. The most that happens is that I give guy number 1 a hug. However, I am afraid that I am emotionally cheating on my husband. Guy number 1 and I use to email each other all the time. Meanwhile, me and my fiancee at the time, would argue all the time. It seemed almost like I would pick a fight with him. Then we got married. I and guy number 1 continued to email each other and talk quite often. Then, we quit talking and emailing each other for 6 or 8 months. During that time, my husband and I got along a lot better. We didn’t fight as much. Now that guy number 1 and I are talking again, I am again, confused on what to do and me and my husband have been fighting a lot again. I love my husband very much and wouldn’t want to hurt him, but I know that I am still in love with guy number 1 as well. Since you only have one life to live, I want to make sure that I am living as happy as possible. I know me and guy number 1 only dated a short while, but we really connected. It is hard to know though, that everything would work out if I did leave my husband and got with guy number 1. I mean, who ever knows if things will work out. I’m just really confused. Please help! User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female Guy or no guy Not that i disagree with the thought process about committment, but if you were really in love with your husband you wouldn't be tempted by this other person. Talking to him for as long as you have is pretty darn significant. Take the old boyfriend out of the picture. Figure out if your man has what it takes to really make you happy...if he does go for it, and let the past stay there. if not, you need to learn what makes YOU happy...guy or no guy. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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