Romance fails after 7 monthsWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female My boyfriend and I were together for seven months. Three months into the relationship I told him I loved him, but he couldn't return the favor. I dealt with it, because I had him in the meantime. It didn't even bother me all that much. I would give him time. he was hurting because he felt guilty. I was just happy to hold him. In October, I got kicked out of my house and came to live with him and his family for two months. It reaked havok on our relationship. I was dependant on him. I was obsessed with him and he was starting to just feel that the romance was gone and I felt more like a family member. When i asked him if he was happy he said he was. He said that he wanted me. We just had sex this past Tuesday. If I didn't know him so well, i wouldn't have even suspected there was something wrong. He wasn't happy. The other night I told him that I wanted him happy even if it wasn't with me. he chose to be without. I realized how stupid I was for ruining the relationship and went home. I've been crying and scared for days and keep calling incessantly and begging him to come back. he says that he wants to be just friends, but he doesn't want to hang out yet, he doesn't want to talk or see me. he says it will just hurt us to see what each other so soon. he says it with such finality and closure but I don't think he means forever. When he kissed me goodbye it felt like he was just going on a long vacation. He cried and waited with me until my ride got there. He held me and kept calling me baby. He drove all around town to bring my stuff back to my mom's house from his place, which is a forty minute drive. I asked if he would ever consider being with me again, and he said probably not, he just wants to be alone. We were kissing and hugging and holding each other an hour before the break-up the other day. He said he was happy and now he doesn't want me. I need him. I lost my mind and came to see him at work because I was lost. He said that he misses me and my affection when I asked before. I may be confused or in denial, but I think he might just need some space for a while and then maybe he'll come back? Do you think it's possible that he'll come back? Is there any way to get him back faster? he doesn't want to talk about the situation. I can't be without him. Please help me, I'm so lost and confused. I love him. I can't move on. User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female Stay busy I am sorry that you seem to be in this position. I am in this position right now and did everything that you did and even more. I even got my ex's mom involved, friends, and even threatened the new girl that he is talking to, which happens to be one of my friends, well she isn't anymore. All I can say is wait it out, hang out with friends, family, and stay busy. Your ex will wonder why you aren't paying him any attention anymore and come around. I know it is hard to hear, it was even when my friends keep telling me, but if it was meant to be, then it will be, you can't rush things like this. I thought i could control everything that was happening and as long as I fought for him i would be able to have him back again. I now realize that i failed because i try to do immortal things, when in reality I am only mortal. Please back off of him and let him have his time before you turn him away forever. Good luck to you. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
|