I Am Obsessed with my ExWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female Hi, I have a very big problem, and I need a straihgt forward answer on this one-PLEASE!!! I want my ex back, but there is just to much that has happened while we were not together. First of all-I saw him with his ex once and I freaked a bit and the outcome was not very nice: I slapped her. He forgave me for that, and we spoke again. Then, I was totally on the rebound, started to visit with some of his friends, and had a short relatioship with one of them. Of course he freaked and slapped his friend, and well, it was forgiven, from both our sides. And we still went for drinks, greeted each other and treated each other fairly when we saw each other somewhere. As a result, I fell into total depression, and I still am. It's nothing serious, for I can still smile and keep up a front that I'm still okay and surviving without him. But, when I'm alone, I cry and scream and I'm totally miserable. We are now broken up for 1 year and 3 months, and still I can't go on. I keep on waiting for him, just to phone me, or just to come to my house or something, and I know that it will not happen. You see, when I broke it of with his friend, I went straight for another rebound "relationship" it was actually just someone I used to feel better about myself. But what I didn't know was, that this guy is not what you call decent. This lasted for a week, and my ex phoned me to "warn" me about this guy-for good reason, because he told everyone that I slept with him, wich I did not do. If I kissed him twice, it was alot. Anyway, so the story spread and now everyone thinks that I slept with this guy and that I was using drugs and so forth, wivh I absolutely did not do aswell. Now my ex hates me, because of all this stories, he would not speak to me, he hates me, and so does all of his friends-that was my frinds aswell. I don't know what I did so terribly wrong, I left them all alone and tried to go on with my life. But they will not let me. Everytime I see them, they do stuff that would upset me so much, I cannot help to go "crazy". Then I would do something silly and leave. Can you please help me and tell me what I should do to clear my name and make them believe me that I would never do those things they accuse me of. What should I do to win my ex back? Even if it is over 2 years-I can not be with anyone except him, I don't want anyone else, I realy love him so much, I can not tell you in words how much it hurts to see him and not be able to kiss him or just hold him. Up to this point I did not confront anyone about this stories, because I thought itwould clear away by itself, but it gets worse. User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Male Too obsessive You are definitely obsessed with him. I have been in the same boat as you, and it totally sucks! Don't do anything rash (big life decisions) until you get your bearings back. The best thing for you to do is read all the books you can about obsessive love. Obsession is not really love at all. Love is about letting someone be and not needing to control or need anything from them. It is hard to do, but I know if you read many books about the subject you will see that you can never have a healthy relationship until you fix yourself first and stop obsessing over other people. Love is about respect and total freedom. Good luck to you, and me too! I need it... The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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